Life as an exploration
Hello all,
When I started writing these messages, almost 3 years ago now, it was my soul's way of attempting to reach out and communicate its' depths. The first writings, and even now, were/are often shakey attempts to understand and connect over the human experience. For some reason, even in their simplicity, the questions of "who am I? why am I here? and what am I going to do with it all?" have been the guiding forces in my life. Even in their ambiguity, there is an anchoring in the asking that soothes my soul. These unanswerable questions and I do a daily dance that allows to me engage with life in a way that is layered and nuanced - for which I am very grateful. I don't know if I am or was ever supposed to really know anything but sharing the findings from this never-ending search has led me to remarkable places within my being which has been mirrored back by the world around me.. The not knowing but longing to know and the searching, understanding I will never find, has led me to live into this particular life in pretty phenomenally interesting ways. This existence seems to be all kinds of astonishing, thrilling, agonizing, and joyful and pretty much all the things all of the time. Uncovering to cover and then uncover, unlearning to learn and then relearn....It's as if this is a life stage, where nothing is rehearsed, and the soul trips to find its' footing as the choreography is played only through the moment. Oh and the audience is the Self beyond the personal self who either applauds at everything or nothing - but it doesn't actually matter either way.
The assumption being that we are supposed to know the choreography of life leads to a stasis of the soul. Soul, who knows that tripping over feet and reorganizing to attune to the moment itself is the only way to actually do it. This metaphor has gone on a bit too long, but I am having fun with it, I think you get the gist. Life is unfigureoutable. Truth could just be defined as the moment itself. Truth is our rearranging parts that are interacting with the moment that is new, that is continually new. The moment, played through the physical vessel that is also a moment, is a beautiful thing to acknowledge and experience.
Everyone has a lot to say about how to do life right as a "system". But life isn't a system. It is organic, it is ever evolving. It is the intersectionality of the spiritual/material incarnated into human form that is trying to figure out itself constantly, but doesn't always seem to get the grander picture of it all. To continue to make knowns just because one can't be okay with "the big unknown" is ultimately, in my opinion, missing the mark. When we recognize that we are a part of and the miracle of the myriad of unexplainable forces that has brought us to this very instant - doing life "right" by a pre-established system that doesn't take into account the totality of what we are seems to be very confusing for the body, being, and spirit to try to make sense of.
This is why the "who am I? why am I here? and what am I going to do with it all?" is the best medicine for my being. I tell myself, "know the truth of your own system first Bree - have an in depth understanding of that - then decide what you want to participate in, create, or model your life after. Do the comprehensive reading on yourself first, Bree, then choose how you show up."
There have been many people in my life journey who have treated life as a logical, point a-b-c situation. My particular life has been anything but, a windy path with twists and turns that seem random but perfectly place in the rearview mirror. There have been people in my life journey that I've witnessed go through the system, but have completely ignored their own. I myself have done this at many moments and in retrospect, I would not call it living. My felt sense of being run by someone else's system is more like being vacant in a house that I forgot was my own.
The mind longs for knowns, the soul longs for exploring the unknown. This body houses the soul and responds to whether I am currently engaging with the truth of me or not. As I continual learn to honor the soul, I'm finding that as my body is getting older - my spirit is getting lighter and "younger" in its way. Ahhh to be constantly saying a full bodies yes to this adventure, to diving with heart into the great mystery - what a gift. "Who am I? Why am I here? And what am I going to do with it all" - I smile as I never tire of engaging with unanswerable questions. What a ride this is, grateful to be here with you all.
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Thank you for teaching me in the ways that you do continually - the fact that I've been consistently sharing thoughts, contemplations, and words for the past 3 years is an insane thing to acknowledge but connecting over the truth of life never gets dull. Thank you for reading and wishing you a day of life escapades and engagement with what is in the moment that is you.
Take care in every way,
Bree