A Movement of Life
Yoga. A movement of life.
Greetings Earth Creature (:
I hope this week has dropped you right into the center of your being. I hope you've have moments of remembering why you're here. Sending ease and grace to ya as we navigate the journey. I am so very grateful to be in community with you.
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When we are practicing yoga we have the opportunity to put our state of awareness is motion. Yoga is a life practice. Even vinyasa, a "breath to movement" practice, is ultimately stating no physical/external movement should be done without the "breath" or "life force energy". The movement stems from honoring and understanding life - otherwise what is it coming from?
For a long time, I forced my body into challenging postures that were more performative than reverent. I saw images of fancy asanas in books and because of my flexibility threw myself into them thinking I had mastered it all. All I was really doing was projecting the energy of distortion and patterning of seeking validation onto my body. In essence, the opposite of honoring life, which is and happens in the body. If we are just throwing the body through space from our own unhealthy patterning, what we are practicing is our unhealthy patterning - not yoga.
Pattabhi Jois said, "Yoga is an internal practice. The rest is just circus." If my practice isn't for anybody but me, am I practicing what I want to be practicing? The beauty of a mind, body, spirit practice is we are moving from the awareness that we are the sum of all of our parts and we are also a piece of the whole. It's reassuring to me that I know I can move my life through my practice, not just move my leg. It's reassuring to me to know that I can remember the connection to all of life through my practice, not just do 20 push-ups and call it a day.
The practice will meet and expand us at the depth we know ourselves to be. If awareness is primarily at the level of body identification, it will be a primarily body practice. If awareness is at mental, emotional, spiritual aspects of Self that is funneled through the practice as well. Our practice is ultimately a mirror of how we move through life. What are my habits that get projected onto my body? Where do I get impatient? Where do I grip instead of exhale? Where am I choosing comfort over evolution? It can be a mirror to break down years of unhealthy patterning on every level if we allow it to. We can break down the paradigm of "rushing" or "doing more" or "self punishing" or "insert the blank" by how we move ourselves in the practice. And the beautiful thing is is that it is a practice. We are practicing a new way of being. Yoga is a system devoted to process not goal. It's an invitation to ask Self where, what, and why am I moving? Also, what am I moving from in practice and in life which mirror each other? Do I need to redirect the ship?
We cultivate the capacity to be honest with ourselves in our practice. The teacher said "take 10 breaths", am I actually taking 10 breaths or am I just practicing "checking out and expecting something to happen"? The teacher said, "feel the texture of the mat underneath your feet" am I feeling that/truly being with it or just practicing "waiting for the next chaturanga". We could be practicing "waiting for the next chaturanga dynamic" our whole life which leaves us deprived of our own presence.
I know my practice is growing stronger because my life is more in harmony. I know my practice is growing stronger because I am more patient and kind than I used to be. I know my practice is stronger because I am able to move more slowly now. I know my practice is stronger because I take my self less seriously than I used to. I know my practice is stronger because I am an entirely different human that I used to be because of it. It all depends on what one wants it to be. A handstand gold star or an intentional movement of life energy?
I say all this having spent years projecting patterning, limiting beliefs, and habits that don't serve me onto the practice. I say this having spent years doing the handstand and all the chaturangas thinking that was all there was to the journey. I spent years in a state of stasis thinking I was practicing "yoga" when I was just practicing residual dynamics of force and control. But at some point I knew I needed to start to practice something different in order to honor Self and all of life an extension of it. Now I ask, am I honoring life by how I am moving in every way?
The physical body is beautiful because of it's tangibility - we can see it and feel it as dense matter. But we are so so much more than a body. Body is the vessel for the soul, the spirit, and our lived experience. Are we moving through life in a way that honors that or not? The yoga practice has the potential to allow us to remember the truth of who we are and move from that place if we let it take its' roots in us. The sacredness is reclaimed when I honor for my Self that how I show up in presence in a child's pose matters. If I show up every practice in full presence, I now know, from direct experience, I will be more present and awake to my life.
Just to be clear, I have nothing against handstands or chaturangas (I love/practice these all the time to understand my Self in them!) - this is more just an inquiry on what we are playing through the practice as we move ourselves through time and space. It's an invitation that I ask my Self every day, "can I make it more conscious? can I be a bit more here for it all?" Knowing that the being "here for it all" is really what we often long for the most. So let's practice it!
Thank you for reading!
Here's to being here (:
Bree
RECOMMENDATIONS
Read
“Our culture is all about hard work and control but zilch about letting go and following the lead of a higher power.”
Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver
Listen
I've been listening to Tara Brach talks for about 10 years now and they've been and still are such a source of refuge for my seeking soul.
Watch
I'm big into the mental sovereignty game. How can I free my mind? These mind explained episodes were useful in explaining how the whole thing works.
Write
How am I?
What's moving through me currently physically, mentally, energetically, emotionally, and spiritually currently?
Based on this, how might I need to care for my Self? Or what practices/tools might be useful at this time?
What am I currently trying to call forward?
What am I currently releasing?
How do what I'm calling forward and what I'm releasing intersect?
Life & Soul- It's a happening thing
Life and Soul. It's a happening thing.
Hello beautiful soul in human form,
I hope this email finds you traveling with ease through the complexities of this life journey. I hope this email finds you soft in heart and ignited in spirit. So grateful as always to be in community with you all.
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My heart longs for the iteration of Bree who's yet to become. I am attempting to reprogram my Self to enjoy the journey. The process of becoming is a whole lifetime thing as we are always in a state of becoming. If I'm awake and alive, there will always be a next iteration, cycle, and stage of my humanness that I'm living into..
There's still a swelling in my soul that is persistent and determined, a force propelling me forward that I can't quite put words to. How do I honor the momentum while enjoying all that is - which is just now and now and now. The shifting nature of the moment makes my mind want to grasp hold, but my Spirit's desire is to just flow freely. The nature of being in human form - there's no direction manual to this thing - can be scary or exciting depending on how we look at it. I'm excited today but ask me again where I'm at tomorrow. It's all changing and reorganizing in real time - how life is shifting in relationship to us is entirely dependent on how we're showing up to meet it. It's different now. And now. And now. Perception and understanding of the Self is the thing - not trying to predict or control something that will always and has always been beyond our grasp.
What does one do with the longing and yearning for what's to become? I've come to the conclusion that that longing is actually the nourishment of hope my soul needs to keep going. The soul, as my friend Kathleen says, is light years ahead of the body. So if my soul knows the trajectory and what it wants to experience, the best I can do is to trust that and just completely embody my now. By fully being where I am, I am present and in right relationship to the information that is available to me in the moment, and my response will come then from presence to life and my Self as it actually is now. I'm different then when I began writing this and that's actually the closest thing to truth. It's all transitory and so fleeting - I want to be fully here for this happening life process.
In the purest sense, in the awake sense, this journey is a sacred one. Every day, every breath an opportunity to evolve consciousness, to understand depth, and to connect to it all a bit more deeply. Honor the journey. Honor the journey. I want to honor how I care so so deeply about it all but also be able to laugh my way through. I want to be able to know that I played freely and was present to the small moments of sweetness that reignite the heart and are a reminder that truth can be found in any moment, in every moment. This journey can be a contribution to elevation and evolution of it all by how I show up (how we all show up) to the moment - I know it can. I want to be a part of the life party. I want to be a part of the evolution, even if it's in the smallest of ways.
I'm learning. I'm learning. I shed distortion like old skin and am rebirthed over and over again into more fullness of Spirit. I am becoming more sensitive. Presence and awareness sensitizes me to to the moment in a way that I can't not be affected by it. And I want to be affected by it all, then I can actually respond/meet life from truth of Spirit not confusion, the numb, or the more contribution to distortion. I'm more here than I've ever been which means I'm also experiencing the multi-dimensionality of reality more deeply. The contraction, the expansion, the calling forth, the shed, and every space in between. Can I normalize the cycle of becoming through me? Even if I witness that everything around me has forgotten the sacred process, can I still honor the sacredness of the cycle as it moves through me? I will honor it again. I will honor it again.
My yearning is just a wish to belong to the moment itself. A direct tether unperturbed by the chaos of confusion - which distracts from essence of it all. How could I say that my deepest longing more than anything was and is always just to be fully here and alive in the truest sense? That was and is the meaning. Can I be here for the unfolding? Because I so love the unfolding. The journey is and will always be ours for honoring. There is so much that has shaped, contributed, and formed the iteration of me that I am now that I could never have predicted or planned. The truth is it's all unknown and always has been. The truth is that life is happening in real time, right now. Let's try to be here for it. The life party process can be such a beautiful and rewarding one if we're here for it. (:
Thank you for reading,
Love you all,
Bree
RECOMMENDATIONS
Read
“My formula for success was very simple: Do whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul without regard for personal results. Do the work as though it were given to you by the universe itself - because it was.”
The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer
Listen
To whatever music moves your soul and reminds you that you are alive, so so very alive. Or the music that gives permission to the feeling and connects you back to your Self and all that wants to move through you. Or listen to the voice of someone filled with joy and let it be a reminder of goodness everywhere. Or the echo of a full exhale that speaks directly to surrender. Or the sound and texture of words that you know are spoken directly from the heart.
Watch
The play of life in front of you. A sunset. A child laughing. The subtle ways someone you loves wears a smile. Leaves rippling in the wind. Your hand painting drawings in the sky. The moon and its' unique way of speaking to you. The way life changes and changes again. The grand show of it all.
Write
What's something I saw this week that moved my spirit?
What did I learn this week that's useful on this life journey?
What reminded me that I'm awake and alive today?
What was something I noticed about how I can show up in presence more fully?
Feminine Embodiment
Feminine Embodiment
Hello there beautiful beings,
As always, I hope the unfolding of your being is coming with open arms. I wish you grace in your journey of becoming. We are and will always be evolving, the best we can do is to be compassionate with ourselves through it all. Below is a few words on my upcoming Feminine Embodiment program.
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I came through my current understanding of what it means to be a "woman" as I've come through my understanding of most things in this lifetime - the breaking down of the false, the shedding of conditioning, and the awareness that what I was living, for years, by a definition of "woman" that wasn't of my own making. I spent a good portion of my life playing different roles - "the good girl", the "quiet and polite", the "people pleaser", and the "overnurturer" - in hopes that it would appease others. There were years of abusing my body to fit a mold, there were years of dimming the siren & the wild woman in me out of fear of being over sexualized or being turned into a woman one who's value is based solely on image. I used to mold my Self into a version of woman that was easily digestible for everyone around me so as to not upset anyone, even if meant betraying my Self in the process. I used to deny the parts of me that felt like "too much", "too emotional", or "too wild" for anyone around me to handle. When I started my journey of reclaiming aspects of my spirit/soul, I realized that I also needed to reclaim "woman" as it moves in and through me uniquely. The true feminine force, undeniably undervalued and shoved down by society/collective consciousness, is actually the energy most needed in the evolutionary trajectory of this all moving forward (in my opinion).
A woman in her full power is a rarity. I've seen many models of submissiveness and also its' polarity, an over developed masculine energy. I took this on for awhile, an overused dominant energy I thought I needed to get somewhere in this patriarchal society...I thought to my Self, "I will become very strong and always action oriented in order to compete with a force that is far beyond me." I associated "power" with being a man or playing out only the more masculine qualities of my being. I deprived my self of qualities that were actually intrinsic and instinctive parts of being in a female body. What my soul was truly longing for was power, in the embodied sense, and I realized I didn't have a model for this. Where was the wild soft empowered woman who also managed to create a "successful" intuitively led business? I knew she was already within me, but how did I go about accessing her? There's not a road map for this kind of thing, so I had to walk the path & create my own - which seems to be the running theme of this lifetime.
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Our system wasn't developed to embrace softness, vulnerability, intuitive sensibility, collaboration, compassion, deep listening, and fluidity. Unfortunately, the journey often starts by reclaiming the value of these qualities for ones Self. So it is my belief, that to change the whole of it all - we can start remembering and honoring the parts of us individually that were often denied/neglected by the whole. If I understand the value of allowing, softness, and sensitivity - my embodiment might actually start to model that another way is indeed possible. And maybe, just maybe, I can state this just by becoming it - or by simply remembering the truth of what I already am. Maybe our own embodiment of truth is the statement, the collective shift.
I know the "healed" feminine and masculine in me are both essential. I can receive an intuitive download and then process it through me and put it into action. I can wear floral skirts/glitter clips in my hair but also be extremely pragmatic, assertive, and make decisions. My version of woman is accepting multi-dimensionality and polarity. I am able to access and play the different parts of my being - not just the patterned ways that were most accepted or that I witnessed from people, places, systems, and things I don't resonate way.
I felt severed from my femininity in the truest sense.
So I began the retrieval journey...
I began clearing the imprints of generations of constraint and false molds from my system. I spoke to my womb space and realigned with the cycles of the moon. I danced and howled under the stars and moonlight every night, remembering the wild woman in me. I softened and cried years of tears and held my Self lovingly in my sadness. I spent hours on end dancing in the studio to connect to my emotions, creativity, and sensuality once again. The wise woman and sage in me came out in me demanding the reverence and respect she deserved. At the same time, my inner maiden wanted play so I started getting messy again, skipping down the street, wearing glitter, and painting with my hands. The lover in me started to express herself more openly and I began seeking the intimacy/depth of connection in all my relationships that my spirit longed for. My inner priestess came through to show me the sacredness in the mundane, the spirit in everything, and that part, so instinctual to my soul, that has always trusted the divine and truth above all else.
My spirit is repelled by anyone or anything tell me how I get to be or how I get to show up. I've never done well with systems of authority as I see my Self as the authority on my life. Freedom is the most important thing to me so making up my own definition of how I show up as a woman needed to also be my decision. I hadn't realized how much of me had been denied or pushed aside, I hadn't realized how my connection to my womb space had been entirely shut down. I hadn't realized how much my previous relationships were in response to the "wounded" feminine within me. By reclaiming these parts of me, I was actually reclaiming so much of my life. I was more lived in as a woman, through my own understanding and embodiment - I felt the divine feminine in me come alive.
What I realized is that all aspects of "woman" were available to me, as they are for all women. There is no box, there is nothing to be contained, no one way of "divine feminine". There are just qualities to reclaim, spaces to embody, and parts of us that want to be acknowledged and lived in. My power has grown in correlation to being witness to the awakening of the divine feminine, as defined by and through me me. I truly do feel sovereign in my being after the shed, the remembering, and the embodying. I see it as a radical act to be fierce and soft at the same time. I see it as a radical act to be fully who you are.
All of my programs have come through my own journey of reclaiming the parts of me that somehow got forgotten in this thing we call life. I used to make my Self really small and felt I had to hide the qualities that were actually so essential to me as a soul and as a woman. I created my Feminine Embodiment program to speak to the journey above - to offer a container for the tools that help one remember and to create the sense of connection that being in a room with other like-hearted women doing the work brings. If we could normalize that we all have picked up many things that have made us dim out light or deny certain parts of ourselves in order to feel safe at some point this could be the start.
There is another way and we do have a say in how this whole thing goes down. This program will be a shedding, a remembering, and a reclaiming.This will be a powerful group of amazing woman, and I'm so excited by the group that's forming.
More details in the video below. I would love to have you if it feels in alignment with your now. Only 10 spots available. Intentionally intimate so we can go deep. Email me if you're interested in joining us.
Thank you for reading & here's to living into all of us,
Bree
RECOMMENDATIONS
Read
“The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.”
Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Journal
Below are a few prompts from the workbook for my Upcoming Feminine Embodiment program. During the program, we will journal for individual understanding but also discuss this as a group to learn through shared experiences.
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1. What associations (“positive” or “negative”) do I have or have I had in the past with being a woman?
2. What did I see modeled for me around what it means to be a woman from my upbringing/family of origin?
3. What did I pick up from my childhood to early adulthood from friends,, society, and the collective consciousness about womanhood?
Divine Mirrors- Interpreting the maps of the Universe
Divine Mirrors. Interpreting the maps of the Universe.
Hello there,
It's been a minute, how's your heart? I know I always ask that question, but it's only because I ask it to my Self daily. The question itself brings a softness to the evolutionary journey that, for me, is often very needed.
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It is very practical to be mystical. To understand that the Universe is self correcting and self organizing allows us to read it like a map, that is, if we know how to decipher it. What helps in interpreting the language of the Universe is presence. When we are fully conscious and aware of what's going on around us, what we're allowing in, and the dynamics that are at play within all of that - we start to understand that we are co-creating with the universe. Everything showing up mirrors our internal landscape. If there is distortion, dysfunction, imbalances, and dissonance that is unresolved within our being - everything externally that we create and are surrounded by will mirror that. The external reflects the internal, it's also a nice reminder/opportunity to find more coherent alignment if what we're seeing externally doesn't feel like truth to us. Thanks for the consistent reminders universe (lol!) This is why as we "heal" or "realign", our external world becomes clear and more in tune with our soul - because we are more in tune with our soul. Also as we reattune to our true nature, any dissonance becomes more apparent because more of us is actually in tune than not. This is why if we're feeling unresolved tension everywhere, it becomes a bit confusing on where to begin. But as we begin to clarify our inner landscape, specific lingering tension points/dynamics become more apparent and easier to intentionally start to direct energy/focus to clarify them.
If we are striving for alignment and co-creation we can start to see everything that is presenting itself as happening for us rather than to us. We can ask,
"What is this trying to teach me about my Self?"
"What am I supposed to be learning from this?"
"Why might this be appearing for me at this time in life?
"What does it say about what's going on internally within me?"
"What's being ask to be released?"
"What's being asked to be called forward?"
Since I have become more aware of my Self, soul, and my own alignment (always a work in progress) - I know that everything that is being presented to me is a divine mirror. If I get a lesson in the form of a relationship, dynamic, circumstance, opportunity, etc - I try to learn the lesson and grow the first time around. Otherwise, as Maryam Hasnaa calls it, we get the "paper doll" situation - the same lesson in variety of circumstances until we get the hint and actually shift our way of being. This is not a "punishment" but an opportunity, because what is in our highest is often what is also most fulfilling for us as well. Divine alignment is the most rewarding thing, in my opinion, but often it requires moving through discomfort to shed the known (which is usually not based on our own creation) for the unknown (which has the potential to be based on our co-creation with the divine intelligence of the universe). Yay!
The universe expresses itself through situational 3D circumstances. The universe is present in a person and in all moments. Often in relationships, as I've been navigating the complexity of this lately, I'll ask what the universe, as expressed through this individual, is trying to teach or show me. This helps me stay conscious in the interaction to hopefully evolve and show up fully for the dynamic while its showing up. I'm not interested in getting pulled into anyone or anything elses unconscious patterning, I'm interested in staying fully awake and coherent to evolve. Same thing goes with external circumstances - I always ask "Why is this showing up in my field?" - is this representative of the timeline I want to be traveling on or and old "timeline" that is based on a past Self. I learned the hard way, but I now only choose what's in service of the highest possibility/potential for my Self (as an extension of all).
I've been deep into Maryam's work and recently watched something where she stated her order of commitments:
Commitment to the divine
Commitment to Self
Commitment to relationships
When I work and attune to this, it helps me be able to trust that's what is showing up is part of the a higher plan - to teach me, help me evolve, and to help me grow. When I slip into committing to things based on expectation, judgment, guilt, obligation, etc - I continue to get the "paper doll" scenario of repeat circumstances that are showing me how to move beyond the old way of being. The map of the Universe is here for us to use or not use. We can stay asleep and get the same repeat lessons over and over again or we can evolve. I always ask my Self, "Do I want to go back to sleep (same unconscious patterning) or do I want to stay awake and evolve?" Sometimes we jump off the evolution train for a bit and stagnate at a certain frequency, this serves as its' own lesson. I've done this before and the realization of how long I was static has now served to be the catalyst to never choosing to repeat that one again. Time isn't linear and sometime we can grow in one year more than we grew in a previous whole lifetime (if you believe in that kind of thing). It's all malleable. Eventually, I want to get to the place where I enjoy the evolution and understand that even though the climb is uncomfortable at moments, the view just keeps getting more and more beautiful. It also feels a bit more like a clear representation of how my heart has always seen and felt it all to be.
Anywho, I'm rambling a bit (as I tend to do when I get excited) but I love you and wishing you a weekend of opening the book of the Universe to see what's here. An opportunity to grow, to experience reality differently, to find more aligned circumstances and dynamics, to gain access to a myriad of new exciting life experiences - it's all here. Wishing you whatever is in highest alignment!
See you soon!
Bree
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*I share what I've come to know to be true through me in hopes that it's useful in some way. As always, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. (: