Complete Ownership of Self
Hello fellow light being somehow miraculously in a human body,
Here's what's been passing through...
The more we work to fine tune our awareness and channel that through our lives, the clearer we get about what is or is not in alignment. As we follow what is truly in alignment, we do some life pruning to clear what was created from or acted upon from a false Self and distortion as the origin point.
The need to be liked, accepted, loved, and to feel safe are tribal human needs. Often times I've sacrificed the truth of who I am in order to be part of some sort of collective experience only to wind up feeling more repressed, frustrated, and depressed. The truest parts of who we are will be unique and will not be mirrored in the world around us because the authentic expression of our soul is unique. This, in my opinion, is why we are all in different bodies... to experience consciousness differently through unique lived experience. When we don't understand this, we will continually diminish parts of who we are to settle for a false sense of belonging where we don't get to claim all of us.
The main theme coming up in my private sessions lately for people is the feeling of aloneness when letting go of what is not in alignment. When we no longer self abandon or self sacrifice in order to be part of something, our entire paradigm and reality shifts. There are things we no longer participate in because they would require us to shrink in order to engage. There are people we let go of because we realize that certain relationships were dependent on patterning or programming where we have to play a certain role in order to stay in dialogue.
If we play by the rules, roles, and ways of being for false sense of safety, for validation (distorted love), for fear of being alone, etc essentially we will still experience the root of that wounding in whatever situations we find our selves in our lives. What you put into is is what you get out of it, with everything. If a relationship is based on fear of aloneness, fear will still be present until that is addressed. If earning more money is based on not feeling safe within oneself/survival wounding, the money might come but the underlying current of not feeling truly secure in Self will still be present. If sharing/teaching/posting/creating etc is coming from needing to be validated on any level (work, appearance, experience, etc) that will still be present no matter how many people compliment you, follow you, like you or don't like you, etc
My work, Scorpio is all up in my 4th house, centers around breaking down conditioning that we picked up from society, upbringing, collective consciousness that takes us farther and farther away from who we truly are. Usually what we are longing for from the external is a deeper understanding, experience, acceptance, remembering, and love of the Self. It is not that we don't need community or relationships, it is just beginning to ask what the source is where relating from with all things. If the origin point of relating is seeking love from another that we can't or are unwilling in our Self - we won't really be able to relate or engage with another freely because the primary point of engagement is our own wounding/distortion/programming etc. If the origin point of relating is needing validation within a group/online or wherever, we will outsource and potentially look to anyone (even strangers) to prove that we are worthy, without ever acknowledging that our worth was never up for discussion to begin with and it is inherent.
As we clear false origin points from our own operating system and redirect the energy to who we are authentically, things naturally fall away that are no longer in alignment with the truth of who we are. As this is happening, the capacity is being built to a new frequency that will call in people, relationships, circumstances, etc that are in alignment with the truth of the Self that we are actualizing. The recalibration period is the hardest because it is where we fortify our own inner resolve to continue forward so that we can have more of our Self on the other side.
We start to build love for truest parts of Self - the quirks, the perceived "foibles", the ways we move that no one else does. Through many initiations over the years, I've fallen deeply in love with my Self and the fact that I move in a different direction than most of the herd. I love how I get awkward in large social settings because I'm aware that I can sense the energy of everyone in the room. I like the weird rituals I do by my Self on Friday nights while I dance around my living room naked singing Nina Simone. I laugh to my Self at the ways I try to articulate an answer to "how are you" in a way that feels honest. I think it's funny that most days I'm getting more downloads than I know what to do with. I like the fact that I've built a magnetic field for myself that protects me from what isn't truly aligned with my Soul. I like that I say no to most things and choose not to participate in things that don't light me up.
I'm not saying this from a place of ego, but from a place of what used to be a lot of self hatred, deep depression, confusion, and sadness about what was wrong with me. What I've come to realize.... is nothing is - I'm perfectly "right". We all are. It's taken some time, but the more I learned to honor the parts of me that want to be called forward, regardless of how the external will shift because of that, the more I feel at peace with the Self at the end of the day. I, of course, have more remembering and reclaiming to do always, but I have travelled the spiral enough times to see that I get to have more of me on the other side of it. This has shifted my relationships, my work, my state of abundance/currency flow - it's shifted everything. I think I used to target areas certain areas of my life (I need more money, I want a partner, xyz, etc) and I would get so caught up in it - as if things happened in isolation. What I've been learning for several years now, is an organic evolution of the Self will bring what's truly aligned for the moment - and that's really all I truly want anyways....more of the Self to experience and engage with the world. I'm not fixated on anything anymore. If there is any focal point, it is simply doing the necessary work in the moment where life is asking me to evolve. I say yes to every initiation and consciousness evolution request now, because I know what's on the other side of it.
I am grateful to my Self for showing up when she felt alone. I am grateful to this Self who had the hard conversations, who created when no one was cheering her on, and who honored her need to move the beat of her own drum. I have more abundance in all the truest forms in my life currently than I could have ever really imagined was possible for my Self. I am excited to continue the journey as the most authentic expression of my Self in this life. I am honored that this is what I get to hold space for day in and day out - the sacred remembering. A collective of empowered individuals who know who they are at the deepest level is usually the vision I wake up to in the morning and go to bed to in the evening. I know the power of this because I lived and continue to live it. I'm in love with the who I am now, and I am so excited to see all the parts of me that still want to be remembered going forward.
I love you all and thanks for reading,
Special thanks to all those who have encouraged me in ways that were not necessarily obvious but truly felt along the way.
Thank you,
Bree
Things that have been engaging for me:
Talk:
Everything in this video speaks to what I've been realizing and working through currently.
Taking back our sovereignty talk with Guru Jagat
Book:
“Instead of trying to get others to change, to take a different path, or to see the suffering they were living in, I acknowledged who they were—and I changed the way I related to their not changing.”
"The Origins of You" by Vienna Pharaon
Other:
Kundalini to crack my own algorithm and free my mind, Water to remember adaptability, Exhale to remember that I can let go of anything as a way to access freedom in the moment, limiting time with technology to free up time/energy/resources to create beautiful things, painting with my hands, the friendships in my life that are based on reciprocity and amplification of truth